I never thought I’d still be single at 45. If you had asked me ten years ago, I’d have imagined myself married by now, possibly with a family. I had this picture-perfect idea of life—growing old with a partner, someone who’d be my best friend. But life doesn’t always go as planned, and here I am, still searching for that real connection.
It’s not that I haven’t had relationships. I’ve had my share of love and heartbreak. Some were short, exciting flings, while others felt like they could be the one. But for reasons beyond my control, they didn’t last. I always believed love was just around the corner, waiting to show up when the timing was right.
Now, I can’t help but wonder if love gets harder to find as you get older. It feels like there was this window of opportunity I missed, as if my best chances for love were in my twenties or thirties. The dating scene has changed too—apps, swiping left or right, online profiles. It’s a whole new world, and sometimes it’s exhausting. There’s pressure to fit into a mold, to stay “young enough” or “interesting enough” to stand out. I find myself asking, is real love even possible in today’s fast-paced, disposable dating culture?
Despite all this, I know my worth. When I look in the mirror, I see a confident, strong woman who has lived, loved, and learned. I’ve built a life I’m proud of, filled with passion, success, and self-respect. I’m not that young girl anymore, waiting for someone to complete me. I’m whole, and I know that the right love will add to my life, not fill a void.
I’ve seen too many women settle because they were afraid of running out of time, afraid of being alone. Friends have told me to “lower my standards” or “just find someone,” but that’s not who I am. I’d rather be alone than with the wrong person. If love is out there for me, I want it to be real—something deep and meaningful, not forced out of fear.
Sure, there are days when I wonder if love is harder to find now. People seem more distracted, more focused on their careers or personal freedom, and less willing to invest in real connection. Commitment feels rare. But that doesn’t shake my belief that there’s someone out there who wants the same things I do—genuine love, true partnership, and a connection that goes beyond the surface.
Do I get frustrated? Of course. There are moments when loneliness creeps in. But I remind myself that I’m not just waiting for love—I’m living my life, chasing my passions, and creating my own happiness. When love finally comes, it will only add to a life already filled with joy, not be the thing that saves me.
So, is it harder to find love at 45? Maybe. But I don’t believe it’s impossible. I still have hope, and I’m not giving up. Love doesn’t follow a timeline, and it looks different for everyone. My story is still being written, and when love finds me, I know it will be worth the wait. Until then, I’m embracing the woman I’ve become and knowing that whoever chooses to love me will be one lucky person.